Big Girl Don't Cry

Time keep running without stop for anyone...

It's been some time i never sharing through my blog..

I think when i was alone and sad then only remind me i still have blog w me all time... :(

Today, 26.02.13

I just want to be alone

refuse all the dates from friends

Thanks their date and wanna accompany

But i would just rather be at home to hide myself

I'm telling myself stop crying for the stupid person

How he hurt you just forget about it

Do not read anything regards him

Just let everything over and do not go back anymore

Even you feel so innocent but please go away

let it go

I really dunno how the dramatic acting like

is just ends up the girl rather come to friend w me

this is so unexpected from me

but you hate me because we became friend

you never know i was in the middle

many times i dunno who i gonna trust

when i don't trust the girl, she blame me

when i don't trust you, you blame me

you never believe that, she wanna out with because i beg her to give you a chance but you never appreciate what am did for you

you blame for everything were my fault..

i speechless and hurt million times by you

but still you keep scold me and thought that you are the pity and innocent one and all the hell were my fault

there's many words to speak

but all seems useless anymore

I do really hope i can let go right now

and sorry to be so selfish this time 

because i hope i can get someone to love and forget you

I hope i can do it but i know it's pretty hard  for me

 Because I never be selfish to hurt anyone who're loving me

Thanks them always beside me and let me know i still have them

Forget about everything

Let go and Move On

I'd a Happy Day

Everytime wanna share my thingy through blog, but too many thing blocked me and there's time limit for my everyday...(seriously hope more than 24 hours per day)
Is the end of the world coming soon that's why time is flying fast in silent way?
why i felt the time is not much and i'd wasted a lot of time...
No, I think is not the time passed by silent and quick... is just i wasted my time for too long...
alright, back to my title...

last friday (270412) I feel very happy after the bad matter came to me...
i woke up early and get myself a pretty look (consider pretty as compared to just a t-shirt with short pant :p) and go to festival city. without any hesitate, i walked to bookshop directly and take a basket to grab what i wanna buy... and look for books, walked around the bookshop... i spent 3hours there and get few books back... it comes with sudden feel that, i fall in love to reading books... i found another interested hobby... (should thanks my babe Munyi to aroused me this hobby) I just feel very very happy because i get the book. but i felt upset because i couldn't get "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" original Chinese version. (i was hold the English version for few minutes but in the end i put back, English not that good, i worry whether i understand or not because I also not really understand Chinese version that i've read, the sentences too deep) Anyway, i'll catch up with this book again when next visit... before that, i must finish the books on my hand...

I just feel enjoy myself and relax. this is what i never have before. I only know i damn happy on that day... put aside everything...i think i should plan outing for every off day instead of just watch the drama at home.
opps, posted until here, got other important things need to do. wish me luck and try my level best to be vibrant my life and live excellent!! =)

-Eva-

《暖手》 Yoke 曾洁钰

YOU NEVER KNOW

Sometime,
i really hope i could get somebody to talk to
i am not a quiet person, you know
i am sharing is caring person, you know

but i know everyone was tiring am facing the foolish love
i know everyone hope i can stop it and walk away
i tried hardly yet i cried hardly
I know everyone was boredom with mine problem
That's why i am standing alone crying alone and not letting anyone knows
i am not going to annoying my beloved friends
i just absorb all the loneliness and painfulness by myself

you just can see i smile all the time
especially once i changed my uniform
once any beloved beside me
smile is truly from my heart, is not forcing myself
cause it is a sense and automatically
cause i wish i could present i am fine and forget about pain
cause i wish everyone not to worry me
i dun wan anyone feel annoying by me
i dun wan anyone see my foolish and dire face
i am trying my best to smile everyday
present that i have an Excellent Day

However you never know
Even now, a thousand of times
i wish i could go to beach
stand in front there and shout loudly by using all my energy
i wish i could cry in front of the beach loudly under the sunset

I know i am foolish idiot stupid or whatever
No way to do to solve from this
I really wish i could get someone to spread all my real feeling
i wish i could get someone ask me to cry loudly
i wish i could get someone hug me tightly when i am crying loudly
i wish i could get someone to say: no afraid, everything will be fine baby
the lucky and sunny days are always there waiting to you
Let me know, i am not alone to fight with the fears, loneliness, bullies
i wish i could get someone say softly to me:
lets give me your hand, i will hold tightly
no abandon you,not to let you alone and feeling fears
lets get another new journey with me...

Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till the very end.

Search for a beautiful heart, but don't search for a beautiful face. Coz beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.

It’s not important to hold all the good cards in life. But it’s important how well you play with the cards you hold.

Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella. - That is attitude. When flood comes, fish eat ants and when flood recedes, ants eat fish. - Only time matters. Just hold on, God gives opportunity to everyone!

Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on what you make with them. A Wall or a Bridge? - Remember you are the architect of your life.

Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, 'relax dear it’s just a bend, not the end.' - Have faith and have a successful life.

One of the basic differences between God and humans is, God gives, gives and forgives. But the human gets, gets, gets and forgets.

Be thankful in life....

-Copied from somewhere else-

VIBRANT MY LIFE

i've just realized i'd never post any regards my working life...
Lets sharing here right now ;)

Vibrant my life is becoming apart of my life now
since 13 Feb 2012,
i started the vibrant journey by joined to Traders Hotel Kuala Lumpur
this is the FIRST permanent job i'm having now in my entire life

i glad to share this is a bright hotel i'd joined
even though i am new here
but i can sense it is a hotel considered best
it is fun vibrant youthful challenges etc

I was now in Traders Club Lounge
i met lounge's manager - Darrel
lounge's SL - Jon (my buddy) & Kenneth
lounge'SA - Benny Rufus Danish Dickson Dian Ting Aidee Elizabeth CK
trainees - Kanae(cute japanese girl) Pricilla Janu
we're now in a team :D

This is a weird team? Funny team? youthful team?
it's hard to judge by words still
as time goes pass
it could be an answer to judge for this team

In the reality
we cant escape with politic yet we can take it as challenge
like me... i only like to working with some of them
frankly speaking i hate to working with those who skip their task
lazier snake and irresponsible
i am new, you could bully me or asked me to do anything
i cleared i am blur noob lack of experience and even common sense
but at least i'm trying my best
i wan to work hard step by step
i believe i can proof to you all
i can do it better than you do
because i am fresh now i accept for everything
but it turns as ginger a day will be
senior is just an appellation that's all
prove you're expert please
this is just for someone i don't like to same shift to work with

i am not plan to work for more than 2 years
i do not want to play politic as from my viewpoint
We Are Not At All
I don't think we are in politic
as we all quite tolerance
just we've same enemy in our heart
because not everyone can join together with same interested and favorable
To be friendship between colleagues when off shift
but to be smart on shift

i know sometime quarrel between us is common
but is depends on what you're facing and deal with
Challenges are always there
How to encounter is your decision to...

噩梦离去换来故事结束?

噩梦离去换来故事结束

今天早上你穿了封信息给我，你告诉我她已经有男朋友了。这个消息确实让我吃惊，心里也不好过。是真的吗？很想问你是怎么知道的，但是那已无意义也不重要了。果然，这不是我跟她的战争，因为她那么容易就喜欢别的男人，而且也许她从没喜欢你。不管是什么原因，我想都算了。

当我看了那封信息，我一直想到你，我想也许在中国的你一定很伤心，哭了吗？突然想起之前你传给我的信息：wawah, uncle fall again… 这次我并没有回复你信息，因为我真的不知道我该回复你什么。开心吗？我并没有，只是吃惊，我以为她或许喜欢你，或许也会像我一样等你守候你。但她没有。也不知怎的，我知道你很伤心，我也伤心。真是笨！我应该高兴因为我的情敌，我的噩梦消除离去了。但是我没有，反而替你感到失落。

我在想，是因为我的原因你们才这样吗？是因为我的存在或纠缠吗？是我的错吗？你会像上次那样怪我吗？说我耽误你，说我拉着你，说我讨人厌。。。但是你知道，我也猜想也许不是我的问题。。。在之前我真的不知道她的存在，在她伤心难过你没能陪她，对不起。我真的不是故意的，因为我真的不知道。之前，跟我联络会的日子，我也没有阻止过你找她啊！虽然我多么不愿意，但我没有。直到过年那时，我才要你答应我那个约定。事实是你没勇气，你生气她不回你，你三个月不联络她，你不敢表白，因为你不确定。。。

既然我们纠结一起，现在得到了这个结果，我知道你最伤心难过。一个人在中国，没有家人，没有朋友，一定很痛苦难过。我真的希望你在这里，那么也许我还可以抱你安慰你。我知道你会祝福她的。你会带着你的心祝福她吧！虽然我恨过她，觉得她并没有什么了不起或特别，但是我真的希望她能够幸福。希望能够快乐。

而我会在这三个月里努力改变自己，虽然我知道不可能，但是我要尽量。不管有没有人追或喜欢，也不知道自己会不会心动，但是我知道我是想念你的。我真的希望在中国的你能够忘了她，努力站起来。希望你回来时，看到的是不同的你。=) 但千万别牵着另一个女子回来，也许你分分钟会，但希望不要啦！也许我还是有少许希望你回来我身边，希望你会爱我。单身回来把~:p 我希望我们三个都过得好。结束那悲痛，不属于我们的爱情纠缠故事。。。

噩梦

噩梦

18/02/2012

大概一个星期前，我终于再次跟他联络了。但是我始终没跟他出，也不再像以前天天要sms或会主动找他了。确实没有他我可以活得比较轻松自由。而他要求我在他去中国前跟他见一面。我心软答应了。他突然约我昨天出去，说是要带我去一个地方。他神秘地不想告诉我。很可惜我太了解他了，我知道是Avril Leveige 的演唱会。而昨天我放工后就跟他去了。这是我第一次去个人演唱会。其实是很后悔去的。因为现在我的心还不够冷静，我还是会被他吸引。而我们，又吵架了，因为那首歌，因为他的不尊重，因为我清楚知道一切。

糟糕！我又让自己受伤了！真是笨吧？！干吗让别人有机会伤害我呢？干吗让自己有受苦！在演唱会尾声的时候，确实很后悔去了这场演唱会。总是不想让他失望，而却伤害自己。我一定要答应自己，不再联络，不再受伤了。我希望他快点去中国，虽然我知道他很不想现在去，也许是那个女的问题和很多很多问题，但是我私心希望他快点去。因为我不想知道你的事，我一定要决心忘掉你。我更不想遇到你，即使那天你偶然遇见我，你说你心跳加速。。。知道吗？现在你说的话，我根本不想去相信！什么时候变成这样呢？就是之前太信任你，我才会有这样的结果。所以你反反复复的想法，让我领愿不要去相信，这样对我才好。即使我知道你觉得很累因为我的不相信。

你绝对是我的噩梦，因为我已很久没再梦见你，还有她。你们绝对是的剋星！因为跟你出后，昨晚我又发噩梦了！又是你们！所以，我最好只当你是朋友，不要再去见你，不要再去哩你这么多。不然我噩梦连连！如果有事需要帮忙可以帮，但不是什么事都要克制自己不理你！娃娃~加油好吗？在事业发展，这是你现在要的，也需要的。不要让爱停止你成功的脚步。要随时告诉自己，你一定可以找到一个比他更好，更疼你爱你的人。而那个人绝对会出现。而他绝对会后悔。。。要一直记住他带给你的伤害，他的不珍惜，他的狠心他的坏。这样你才可以活得快乐，远离悲伤与伤害，更远离噩梦。。。

未完成的故事

未完成的故事

其实分开，最遗憾的是我们的承诺还没实践，答应彼此想要一起做的事还有很多，所以那一切都很遗憾，也演变成我们之间的为完成故事。。。

我们说过的有很多很多，而我所记得的是：

你要我等到你出好一点的车，你说我从不埋怨你驾烂车，你想让我坐好一点的车，让我有好的回忆，你说想第一个让我坐你的车，坐在你旁边。。。

你想要驾车在我去云顶玩，想驾好车在我去玩。。。

你说要带我去海边，我们约定好要去海边玩烟花。。。

你说要带我去看演唱会，谁的都好。。。但我却记得我们都爱李圣杰的歌，我们在唱K时曾经说过如果他来马开演唱会，我们一定要一起去看。。。你说你会带我去看。。。

你说过你会亲手做一份礼物给我。。。

你说过要带我去你hometown那里吃最出名最好吃的罗面，带我去你hometown看风景。。。

你说过要带我去Sunway Lagoon 玩，因为你跟朋友去后觉得很好玩，很想带我去玩。。。

我们说过要一起去Pulau Pangkor,因为我很喜欢那里，想跟我去。。。

你说过，等你出国回来后你的计划成功，你有钱，你就会赞助我20K去英国读书。。。

这些诺言对你来说都不具任何意义，更甚的是你忘得一干二净，计划跟新的她去走你们的故事。但是对现在的我来说，这些承诺是甜蜜却也是遗憾的。也许不久后，我也会把这些未完成的事给忘了，但是这里记录下来了哦！也许几年后，我们都还单身，我们还能够重逢，还是好朋友，不需要情侣关系地，也许也能够完成我们的这些承诺，完成我们的故事。。。

不想被取代的位子

不想被取代的位子

你真的很笨了叻！那天你心情不好吧。。。我说不想你的位子被别的男人取代，你听不懂更不想去明白。也许吧！对你来说我的这一切不重要。我只想说，其实我真的不希望有别的男人能取代你在我心目中的位子。虽然你对我很坏很坏，但是你还是特别的，不需要太多理由就能占据我心中的位子。

我记得我曾经很坏的跟你说：我很后悔认识你，更后悔跟你在一起！我知道你很受伤我这么说。而你却告诉我，你并不后悔认识，不后悔我们曾有过的那段情。我应你：那当然啊！你得到我的爱，疼，我是天给你唯一最好的礼物，你当然不后悔咯！

其实我知道我可以找到比你更好的，比你更爱我疼我的男人，但是我的心却不想让他们取代你。在我痛苦难过时，我的确很想忘记你这个人，很想忘掉我们的一切，忘记你们为我带来的痛苦。我多么希望我能够发生意外，然后像戏剧般地“选择性失忆”。。。我甚至期望如果这个世界上真的有忘忧草，如果我真的知道在哪里可以得到，我会毫不犹豫地得到然后吃下去，把你给忘了。。。

但是我想没有吧！何况，其实我不想忘记你和我们甜蜜快乐过的日子，只想忘了你所带来的伤痛，只想忘了日日夜夜在我梦中的恶魔- 她。尽管如此，这一切都是我多想，因为我没办法也不可能会忘记那一切。但我要从这痛苦中得到教训！有句话说，我们要谢谢伤害你的人，令你失败的人，带痛苦给你的人。因为有你们这么卑鄙地对待，让我更坚强，也让我下次更小心，更让我变得比从前更好更聪明。

无论如何，其实是你笨，也是无缘吧！不然你会知道，其实我真的不想你被别人取代。若我真的会让别的男人取代你，那么我就会跟Ivan他们搞暧昧了，我就会答应跟他出去了，大笨蛋！我不是你，没有定力一下就被勾引去，我的定力很好，而且我是有责任心，知道分寸的人！有时候真的很鄙视你们这些男人，一下就变心，不懂什么是过界，不懂什么是可以和不可以，更鄙视你们用下半身思考！